


now i can't stand to be alone

by girlsonthetv



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, Implied Awful Parents, Implied Masturbation, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsonthetv/pseuds/girlsonthetv
Summary: akira is cranky. he's been cranky ever since he got home. home is fine, it's fine, but it doesn't have the only thing worth living for.(Akira and Ryuji are long-distance and it's torture for both of them.)





	now i can't stand to be alone

Despite his best efforts - going to his hometown's arcade for a bit, online shopping for a bit, jacking off for a bit - Akira has found himself in the same situation he's been in at ten pm the last four nights of the week. Curled up on his bed in the fetal position, staring at his phone he's holding close enough to his face to make him need actual prescription glasses, Lorde playing on repeat in his earbuds as he texts his boyfriend. 

ryuji <3: Are you listening to Lorde again?  
Me: No  
ryuji <3: Everything's the same at Shujin  
ryuji <3: Somebody got caught with drugs.  
Me: Cool  
ryuji <3: What's going on with you? 

Akira feels bad that he can't think of anything to say. But truly, nothing he cares about has happened here in his hometown. He never had many friends and still doesn't, save for a few kids he studies with from time to time. All he does at school is study his ass off and promptly go home. He has to get into university in Tokyo if he's going to survive with his sanity intact. Now that he's tasted life in the city with friends who are like him, his hometown is unbearable. There are only two more weeks before summer vacation starts and he's headed back to his real home, and Akira is starting to think he's going to go crazy. 

Me: Sitting in bed.  
Me: Texting you.  
ryuji <3: Tell me about your school  
ryuji <3: I don't even know your friends' names.  
Me: I don't have friends here, and my school is boring. We've been over this. 

Akira sighs out loud as he taps the letters on the screen. 

ryuji <3: If you insist

Akira can hear his disappointed puppy-dog face through the screen, and feels even worse.

Me: See you later, headed to sleep

Ryuji doesn't reply. Akira tosses his phone onto his nightstand and turns over. He doesn't sleep for another forty-five minutes, instead thinking about a boy with bottle blonde hair and soft, chapped lips he kissed at Big Bang Burger ten minutes before closing the night before he went back home. 

Wishing he had kissed those lips just a little sooner. Maybe then they could have gone on a proper date. 

/

It's six in the morning, and a year ago Akira would have still been sound asleep. Instead, he's out running with Ryuji. Well, he's FaceTiming Ryuji while they both run the same distance. Akira came up with the idea, and it's been a fun ritual. It keeps them connected to each other. 

The sun is rising, and it's peaceful with no people out yet, little sound save for his panting and Ryuji's muffled in his hoodie pocket. He stops at the tree that marks the corner of his street and puts his hands on his knees, heaving a little for breath. His stamina is improving slowly but surely, emphasis on slowly. 

As soon as he's sufficently caught his breath, he fumbles to pull his phone out of his pocket and grins at the flushed face he sees. "Your roots are showing." He says, gesturing to the top of his own head. 

Ryuji self-consciously puts a hand to where black is indeed peeking through. "I'm gonna touch 'em up today." 

Akira laughs. He brushes his fingers against the screen, imagining he was touching Ryuji's cheek instead of his phone screen. Ryuji laughs when he notices, and it's a delightful, full-bodied sound, unlike Akira's chuckles. 

"I can't help I'm sentimental." Akira says mock-defensively. He sighs and leans back against the tree. "I'm going stir-crazy in this stupid town with my stupid parents."

"Good thing they're letting you visit for summer vacation, otherwise I was really gonna come down there and beat their asses." Ryuji's earnestness is discernible even as the connection garbles his voice a little. Behind him is a recognizable chain-link fence. He likes to run at Shujin. 

"And I would let you." Akira says. "Indulge me a little more, would you." 

Ryuji obliges and puckers up his lips. Akira kisses the screen softly, and they both dissolve into laughter the minute they stop "kissing".

"God, this long-distance thing isn't being good to me either." Ryuji laughs. "Ann says it's because I'm a Cancer." 

"How dare she?" Akira said as he began to walk back to his house, feigning offense. "I might have to beat her ass for calling my boyfriend such a thing." 

Ryuji cackled on the other end as he started heading towards the school to get changed and ready for class. "It's astrology, it's kinda stupid. Cancer is a crab, and it means I get attached easily or something? She's a Scorpio, and that's a scorpion, which means she's emo. I honestly kind of tuned her out after a bit." 

Akira chuckled. "Alright, I'm gonna hang up. Seeya tonight."

"Seeya!" Ryuji smiled brightly and waved at the screen as Akira tapped the red button to end the call. 

Akira smiles softly and thanks his lucky stars for technology. His mom's passive-aggressive questions about school and if he had a girlfriend he was talking to on that phone of his barely bother him. 

/

A few uneventful days pass.

ryuji <3: Sometimes I think gross stuff when I hear you panting after our runs

Akira's heart beats double time. 

Me: What kind of gross stuff

ryuji <3: I wonder if that's how it sounds when you touch yourself at night

Akira imagines how red his face must be after sending that and barks out a laugh. Arousal itches in his belly thinking about Ryuji thinking about him touching himself.

Me: Nah, I'm a little breathier at night than post-run

ryuji <3: Show me  
ryuji <3: Only if you want to

Akira calls Ryuji on FaceTime. He comes quicker than he ever has. 

/ 

An uneventful week passes. There are three days until Akira is bound for Tokyo, and his text conversations with Ryuji have gotten longer and longer with plans of what they'll do when Akira gets there. 

ryuji <3: Haru says she's gonna let the phantom crew mooch off her country club membership as much as we want.  
ryuji <3: Smoothies for days. 

Akira laughs lightly. Everything feels brighter, happier with the knowledge that he'll be seeing the people he loves in three days. All his loneliness will evaporate with the sun, replaced with the companionship and comraderie he's missed so much. He's ecstatic.

Me: You wanna drink the same smoothie with two straws  
ryuji <3: isn't that moving a bit fast  
Me: we sexted last week  
ryuji <3: okay and  
ryuji <3: i'm not ready to share a smoothie in public  
Me: I'll take you to Crossroads and we can share all the drinks we want  
ryuji <3: I'll think about it. 

Akira smiled softly. For all he acted big, he had a lot of bullshit to work out about his identity still. All the Phantom Thieves did - for all their efforts in punishing bad guys, they were still outcasts in their daily lives. Ann's parents and Haru's mother he knew didn't speak to them. Ryuji's mother is kind, but Ryuji has been his own worst critic all his life.

Me: hey no pressure, i'm just teasing you  
ryuji <3: i know, dw  
ryuji <3: tbh i'm just excited to see you in person  
Me: i want you to hold me in your strong arms  
ryuji <3: and i want to hold you in my strong arms  
ryuji <3: i could probably pick you up and spin you around, i've been #grindin since u left

Love swelled in Akira's chest and butterflies swarmed in his stomach and affection rose in his throat and threatened to choke him. Times like this he wondered how he ever thought he was straight.

Me: my heart fluttered when i got that text, like actually fluttered  
ryuji <3: ur so gay  
Me: ur favorite gay  
ryuji <3: it's like eleven pm, my favorite gay needs to go to bed  
Me: fiiiiine, lov u <3  
ryuji <3: lov u 2

Akira put his phone up and giggled giddily into his pillow. It took him ages to fall asleep. He dreamt of café dates and long, sweet, real life kisses. 

/

The day of his departure Akira woke up early just to do a face mask and scrub his lips. The water at his parents' house was horrible on his skin, and he wanted to look nice for his friends. Mostly for Ryuji, but also for his friends. 

In theory, he spent the three-hour train ride reading a book. In practice, he spent it spamming memes in the group chat and texting back and forth disgusting flirtations with Ryuji with a book open on his lap.

He exited the train and was immediately group-hugged with extreme prejudice by his friends and he thought that if he suffocated under their combined weight and love it wouldn't be such a bad way to go. They broke apart and started yelling over each other about where to go out for dinner to celebrate their leader's return, and Ryuji took his suitcase with a wink. Akira felt like his heart was glowing through his shirt. 

They ultimately decided to just have curry at Leblanc, and they walked down the street together, a chattering, laughing, singing horde of teens. Akira and Ryuji stuck close together the entire time, holding hands tightly, and Futaba shot them an inquisitive look but said nothing. 

Ryuji helped Akira carry his suitcase up the stairs to his room after Akira had been taken in a tight hug by Sojiro and the older man had exclaimed at how much he'd grown. The chatter of their friends crammed into the booths got gradually quieter as they climbed up, until they were in the attic and the noise was just a background hum. 

Ryuji dropped Akira's suitcase on the floor and before Akira knew what was happening he was pulled into a kiss, every bit as sweet as he had dreamed, tasting exactly as it had the night he had left, of cinnamon gum and lip balm. 

They only broke apart because they both needed to breath, and they panted like dogs before Ryuji said "It was torture waitin' until we got here to kiss you."

"I love you too." Akira said, only a little choked up as he pulled Ryuji in for a hug. "I love you so much and I'm not gonna leave for three whole months." 

"Good." Ryuji said. "That should be enough to last us 'till next summer."

Akira nodded joyfully. 

Ryuji carried Akira down the stairs bridal-style to the others' excited whoops. 

"You guys are perfect for each other." Futaba said, to everyone else's unanimous agreement. 

"And they say long-distance relationships can't last." Akira said smugly, tightening his hold around Ryuji's neck.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in two hours and now i'm going to bed pleas enjoy, pegoryu good


End file.
